Shaken

somethings happen that we cant change. well thats why its called life. it isnt going to be easy all the time. yes it might seem smooth flowing, but then, in just a slight flicker of the eye, things change. almost instantly. one breath. the last breath. changed the lives of everyone around. it wasnt easy on me. it wasnt easy on anyone.

i guess this thought me a valuable lesson; to NOT take anyone, anyone for the matter, for granted. yes we may think that they will always be there with us, so we dont really pay much attention or maybe we just thought they would always be there. till it hits you, then the hurt is too excruciating that it takes a long time to get back up on the horse.

i might not make sense to some of you who are reading, and i m sorry. well i just lost my grandaunt. she was only 61 and she had liver cancer for the past 4 years. having said that, she has been very close to my mum and i since we live just 5 minutes away. someone so close, someone who i see so often, just gone like that. yes it took me at a suprise.

i have no experienced something like this before. so i was confused. i didnt know how to act, or what to say. and when everyone in the family was not in the correct state of mind to do anything, i had to make the phone calls. yes i brought the bad news to other family members. and yes it wasnt easy on me nor on them.

since the 14th of april, i have been so drenched with emotional breakdowns, rituals, prayers, one after another… my grandmother, 79, already old, could not take this lightly; and this has been pretty hard on me as well. its something different, it was something that i learnt throughout this whole thing. and maybe it made me stronger as a person.

then again its life. somehtings happen for a reason. fate. destiny. its all true. hope, faith and prayers are the only things that keeps you going. gosh i wished so much to turn to my best fren during these times, but i couldn’t. well, thats for the better too.

yoe